What is CONSENT?
Consent is an essential aspect of healthy relationships, and it’s crucial to teach young people how to understand and practice it. However, teaching consent can be a complex and challenging task, particularly for educators and parents who may not have the necessary tools or language to do so effectively. One approach that has gained traction in recent years is the use of the F.R.I.E.S acronym. F.R.I.E.S stands for Freely Given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, and Specific, and it’s a powerful tool for helping young people understand what consent is and how to apply it in their relationships. In this article, we’ll explore three mind-blowing ways in which F.R.I.E.S are used to teach consent, and how it can empower young people to build positive, respectful connections with others.
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What is F.R.I.E.S ?
F.R.I.E.S = Consent1. F: Freely Given The first element of F.R.I.E.S, “Freely Given,” emphasizes that consent must be voluntary and not coerced. This means that one party must not use pressure or force to obtain consent, nor should they rely on assumptions or presumptions about the other party’s desires or intentions. Educators can help young people understand this concept by providing scenarios and role-playing exercises that illustrate the importance of seeking explicit and enthusiastic consent before engaging in any sexual or romantic activity. This can also involve discussing power dynamics, such as those related to age, gender, or social status, and how they can impact the ability to give or receive consent.
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2. R: Reversible The second element of F.R.I.E.S, “Reversible,” highlights that consent can be withdrawn or changed at any time. This means that even if someone initially consents to an activity, they have the right to change their mind and withdraw their consent at any point. Educators can emphasize this point by discussing the importance of ongoing communication and checking in with partners to ensure that everyone involved is comfortable and willing to continue. This can involve teaching young people how to recognize non-verbal cues, such as body language or tone of voice, that may indicate discomfort or reluctance and how to respond appropriately.
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3. I: Informed The third element of F.R.I.E.S, “Informed,” stresses the importance of having a clear understanding of what one is consenting to. This means that consent must be given with full knowledge of the risks, benefits, and potential consequences of an activity. Educators can help young people understand this concept by providing accurate and comprehensive information about sexual health, boundaries, and communication skills. This can involve discussing topics such as contraception, sexually transmitted infections, consent laws, and the impact of social media and pornography on sexual expectations.
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4. E: Enthusiastic The fourth element of F.R.I.E.S, “Enthusiastic,” underscores that consent should be given with genuine enthusiasm and positivity. This means that consent should not be given out of obligation, fear, or pressure, but rather because the person genuinely wants to participate. Educators can help young people understand this concept by promoting healthy communication skills, such as active listening and empathy, and encouraging them to develop their own boundaries and assertiveness skills.
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5. S: Specific The fifth and final element of F.R.I.E.S, “Specific,” emphasizes that consent must be clear and specific. This means that it’s essential to communicate exactly what activities one is consenting to and what boundaries or limitations exist. Educators can help young people understand this concept by teaching them how to communicate their boundaries clearly and respectfully, and how to listen and respect the boundaries of others.
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Overall, using the F.R.I.E.S acronym can be an effective and empowering way to teach consent to young people. By emphasizing the importance of voluntary, informed, enthusiastic, and specific consent, educators can help young people build healthy, respectful relationships based on mutual trust and understanding
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How to relate F.R.I.E.S With Consent in teaching Sex Education to children?
Once upon a time, there was a group of friends – Finn, Rachel, Isaac, Emily, and Sam. They all loved playing games together and having fun.
One day, they decided to make French fries for a snack. Finn asked if everyone wanted some, and they all said yes. But then, Rachel said she only wanted a few, and Isaac said he didn’t want any at all. Finn and Emily wanted a lot of fries, but they knew they couldn’t eat them all.
That’s when Sam explained the F.R.I.E.S acronym to everyone. He said that just like how they were all different and had different preferences for fries, everyone has different preferences and boundaries when it comes to physical touch or romantic activities.
He explained that the “F” in F.R.I.E.S stands for “Freely Given,” which means that everyone has the right to say yes or no to any activity. The “R” stands for “Reversible,” which means that someone can change their mind at any time and say no, even if they initially said yes.
The “I” stands for “Informed,” which means that everyone has the right to know exactly what they are agreeing to, and the “E” stands for “Enthusiastic,” which means that everyone should only do things that they are excited about and truly want to do. Finally, the “S” stands for “Specific,” which means that everyone should communicate clearly about what they are comfortable with and what their boundaries are.
As they made their fries, Sam helped his friends understand how the F.R.I.E.S acronym could be applied to any situation where someone’s boundaries might be involved. Finn realized that just like how they all had different preferences for fries, everyone has different preferences for physical touch, and it’s important to always ask and respect those preferences.
From that day on, Finn and his friends used the F.R.I.E.S acronym to communicate clearly and respect each other’s boundaries in all aspects of their lives, whether it was sharing snacks, playing games, or navigating their relationships with others
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3 Ways How F.R.I.ES can be used to teach about Consent in Sex Education
- Role-Playing Scenarios: One way to teach the F.R.I.E.S acronym is to create role-playing scenarios where students practice using each aspect of the acronym. For example, students can act out scenarios where someone asks for a hug or a kiss, and the other person uses the F.R.I.E.S acronym to communicate their boundaries and preferences. This can help students understand how to apply the F.R.I.E.S acronym in real-life situations.
- Discussion and Reflection: Another way to teach the F.R.I.E.S acronym is through open discussions and reflections about boundaries and consent. Teachers or facilitators can create a safe and open space for students to share their thoughts and feelings about what consent means to them, what their boundaries are, and how they can use the F.R.I.E.S acronym in their own lives. This can help students develop a deeper understanding of the importance of consent and how it can be applied to all aspects of their lives.
- Incorporating F.R.I.E.S into Curriculum: Finally, the F.R.I.E.S acronym can be incorporated into the curriculum across different subjects. For example, in a health class, students can learn about the F.R.I.E.S acronym as part of a lesson on sexual education and healthy relationships. In a language arts class, students can write stories or essays that incorporate the F.R.I.E.S acronym to explore different scenarios and perspectives on consent. By incorporating the F.R.I.E.S acronym into different areas of the curriculum, students can see how it applies to various aspects of their lives and develop a holistic understanding of the importance of consent.
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- Incorporating F.R.I.E.S into Curriculum: Finally, the F.R.I.E.S acronym can be incorporated into the curriculum across different subjects. For example, in a health class, students can learn about the F.R.I.E.S acronym as part of a lesson on sexual education and healthy relationships. In a language arts class, students can write stories or essays that incorporate the F.R.I.E.S acronym to explore different scenarios and perspectives on consent. By incorporating the F.R.I.E.S acronym into different areas of the curriculum, students can see how it applies to various aspects of their lives and develop a holistic understanding of the importance of consent.
Ending Thoughts
The F.R.I.E.S acronym is a powerful tool that can be used to teach consent to children and teenagers. By understanding and applying the concepts of F.R.I.E.S, individuals can communicate their boundaries and preferences in a clear and respectful way, leading to healthy relationships and positive experiences. Whether through role-playing scenarios, open discussions and reflections, or incorporating F.R.I.E.S into the curriculum, educators and parents can help young people develop a deeper understanding of the importance of consent and how to apply it in their own lives. By teaching the F.R.I.E.S acronym, we can empower the next generation to create a culture of consent and respect, where everyone’s boundaries and preferences are valued and respected.
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About Ioza Learning
21st century skills are those skills, our students will need to be successful in an increasingly interconnected and complex world, which ideally should be taught at school. The Indian education institutions doesn’t prepare the young kids of today to face the challenges of tomorrow.
Young people in India lack access to education on essential 21st-century skills and real-life skills, such as coding, entrepreneurship, effective communication, sexual and menstrual health education, leadership abilities, critical thinking and teamwork, cultural education, arts and crafts, music, and emerging technologies. This hinders their personal and professional development, putting them at a disadvantage in the global race for skills and career success.
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